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Human Software Engineering, the Core Dynamics of Human Conditioning and Tom Stone's latest work is now available on a new site:

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What is Emotional Competence?

What is Emotional Competence?

Emotional Competence is the ability to recognize and appropriately respond to the experience of your emotions. Appropriately responding to your emotions means that you are able to make the distinction between useful and not-useful emotions.

In addition, it means that you have learned and consistently use the skills of resolving not-useful emotions quickly and thoroughly. It means that the not-useful emotions do not cause you suffering or interfere with your thinking and decision making.

When you are emotionally competent, you have the ability to act from a clam inner clarity and are adept at regaining that calm clarity whenever it may become temporarily masked by the presence of not-useful emotions.

This definition adds a new dimension to the previous definition of Emotional Competence which was more related to the managing of emotions through expressing or releasing them. The prior definition included this –

“It implies an ease around others and determines one’s ability to effectively and successfully lead and express. It is described as the essential social skills to recognize, interpret, and respond constructively to emotions in yourself and others.”

However, there is an essential distinction between managing your emotions and gaining a level of mastery of resolving emotional energies, and also recognizing the important distinction between useful and not-useful emotions. In a sense the previous definition of emotional competence was managing one’s emotions with the intellect. To truly be emotionally competent one needs to learn how to resolve not-useful emotions “experientially” not just manage them with the intellect.

Human Software Engineering now includes in the definition of Emotional Competence these important distinctions and most importantly the addition of the CORE and SEE Techniques, new simple and powerful techniques for resolving the not-useful emotions. This provides a very significant upgrading of the definition of Emotional Competence.

Related Links –

Useful and Not-Useful Emotions – For an explanation of the useful and not-useful emotions model as well as the CORE and SEE Techniques.

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